אחרי מות

The Parasha portion we read on Yom Kippur is אחרי מות. It describes סדר עבודה explicitly in relevance to קרבנות (we read it on מוסף) Learning about קרבן תמיד should be like participating In it. We should try and feel like we're actually there doing it. What does this mean? Let me explain. 

On Yom Kippur we bow on the floor 4 times. Why? Well this is why we don't. Jews don't generally kneel because (1) it's like other religions (even though they copied us) (2) ״מפני חטאנו״ - we sinned and now were no longer able to go bow in the בית המקדש בירושלים. Bowing was normal there- since it was destroyed were no longer able to do what was essential. There's no בית המקדש I go to. 

So why on Yom Kippur? Because on this day were virtually in the בית המקדש. So when we get to the words of when the כהן גדול said השם המפורש (Hashem's real name that we don't know) we bowed on the floor. 

When the חזן says השם המפורש we prostrate. This is what kept us alive for 2000 years. We never left the בית המקדש. It's very important to be a part of מוסף. The idea of Yom Kippur is prominent we do a lot of things rooted In this principle.

Side note: We don't bow down on ראש השנה because of this, it's because we're crowning Hashem with כתר המלוכה. There's a difference between Hashem being king because he just is and Hashem being king because we accept him and were pledging allegiance.

ויקרא, פרק טז פסוק ז

ז  וְלָקַח, אֶת-שְׁנֵי הַשְּׂעִירִם; וְהֶעֱמִיד אֹתָם לִפְנֵי יְהוָה, פֶּתַח אֹהֶל מוֹעֵד.

The two goats have to be identical. You put them both on the altar. One goes up to Hashem and one gets thrown off a mountain to die. What does this represent?

In life there are always choices. A million a day. Sometimes you don't even realize you're making a choice. Lets say you go down a road and get to a fork. At the moment you're in that spot, you can go either way. Think carefully with every choice you take. The two animals look the same. There's no objective, logical, rational, reason why each goes its way. But look at the difference! Ones קדש בבית המקדש ביום כיפור and one is destroyed! We can end up קדש or destroying our entire life. The little turn to the way you go can lead to crazy different roads. (Animals don't have a choice but we do)

We need to get people to take their lives more seriously. We can kill an animal בידי צער בעלי חיים once a year for this reason. 

פסוק יז 

יז  וְכָל-אָדָם לֹא-יִהְיֶה בְּאֹהֶל מוֹעֵד, בְּבֹאוֹ לְכַפֵּר בַּקֹּדֶשׁ--עַד-צֵאתוֹ; וְכִפֶּר בַּעֲדוֹ וּבְעַד בֵּיתוֹ, וּבְעַד כָּל-קְהַל יִשְׂרָאֵל 

No one could be in אוהל מועד when the כהן גדול does his עבודה. Why does it say "וְכָל-אָדָם לֹא-יִהְיֶה בְּאֹהֶל מוֹעֵד״ ??

"במקום שאין איש, השתדל להיות איש-

Be a "mentch." The pasuk is (i might want to say-vaguely) alluding to this is too. When no one is around being good- be a man!!! 

פסוק כג

כג  וּבָא אַהֲרֹן, אֶל-אֹהֶל מוֹעֵד, וּפָשַׁט אֶת-בִּגְדֵי הַבָּד, אֲשֶׁר לָבַשׁ בְּבֹאוֹ אֶל-הַקֹּדֶשׁ; וְהִנִּיחָם, שָׁם.

After עבודה the כהן wears regular every day clothing but they also have special clothes for Yom Kippur. At the end of the עבודה he has to remove the בגדי בד and go back to regular clothing. Where does it go? He just leaves them there. --> "והניחם שם״- 

רשי Comments on this

We learn that it was required to bury them in גניזה because they're holy. You don't use them ever again for any other Yom Kippurs. Does this make sense?

This emphasizes how every עבודה has to be new and vibrant. It's not a repeat performance. 

Everything we do in our lives has to be done with meaning.

We pray the same words every day but we have to keep it fresh and spice it up. Put your life and heart into it. It needs vibrance. It was put away and never used again. 

פסוק ל

ל  כִּי-בַיּוֹם הַזֶּה יְכַפֵּר עֲלֵיכֶם, לְטַהֵר אֶתְכֶם:  מִכֹּל, חַטֹּאתֵיכֶם, לִפְנֵי יְהוָה, תִּטְהָרוּ.

Unique sanctity of Yom Kippur. We repeat this line so much. On this day Hashem will forgive us and we'll become pure. "לפני ה׳ תטהרו״ --> 3 words!!

R. Soloveitchik says

So what, we walk in with sin and walk out טהור?

Before Hashem you become pure - literally. If you can really feel Hashem's presence - if you figure out what that means, you ARE in Hashem's presence. 

To the degree, you can put yourself there, it's to that degree, the טהרה will take place. Whatever it is, it is.

Try and feel like you're in the בית המקדש. 

If you made it through this- I hope y'all have a meaningful Tom Kippur. MAKE it meaningful because what you put in, you get out. 

Rollin Rova

The Old City was crazy tonight. It was soooo crowded because everyone's doing selichot

Casual Kumsitz down there. I'm pretty sure that was a shuk way back when

This is THE Rova. All Yeshiva kids chill here and there are some key restaurants there like burgers bar and holy bagel (I order salad of course)

Come here to meet ze cutest boys (so many Brits)

G

Me and my brick of a machzor I lugged around all night. Woot woot thanks mommy and daddy 

Nuuutssss. They're all like little ants. It's crazy to think about how much is going on in one picture like everyone's mind is going nuts from saying סליחות . So picture your own minds inner jumbles times thousands

I hope views like this never become jaded . I always want to think the lights are so pretty

I was thinking about the kotel like one day I go for a bar miz and I'm so happy then I go on tisha beav and I'm so sad and then I come for selichot and I'm scared and nervous slash depressed.

Crazy stuff

I'm a kibbutznick

My experience on Kibbutz Yavne. Where to begin, wow. I thought my friend and I were going to Netanya to stay by her grandmother but it turned out that her program wasn't off for the holiday. So I just stuck it out and joined her program as a guest for the weekend. I'm glad I made that decision. 

Rosh Hashana went well for me. I felt spiritually connected for many reasons (one of them being my machzor filled with notes). 

Dinner was served in a huge dining room with everyone on the kibbutz. Sitting at the dinner table made me feel a bit homesick. It was an Ashkenaz kibbutz so they're minhagim are different. They don't do the simanim that my family does back home. 

The days on the kibbutz were really relaxing. I got along with the kids on the program. Such chillers. And some of the kids were just hilarious. 

We did Tashlich in the zoo that the kibbutz has. It's called Noah's Ark lol. I walked up to the goat pen afterword to find ten year old boys milking them. Living on the kibbutz comes with responsibilities. Everyone has to help out from 5th grade and up. So these kids had to numb the goats udders and attach some tube to it which extracts the milk. It was so freaken weird to watch these little boys successfully do something like this. They were in charge. There was no one supervising them to make sure that they were doing it right. It's like their regular job. 

I got my own taste of this. I guess one of the madrichim on the program though that I was a typical JAP in seminary (which I'm not, right?!) so he put me on kitchen duty. Basically I was part of the group of people thy had to clean up the entire dining room and set it up for the next meal. This was the most organized ordeals I have ever participated in. These Israeli kibbutznicks have everything figured out down pat. Even a little eight year old girl was cleaning and she knew exactly what to do and what goes where. 

Saturday I got to eat with a family that lives on the kibbutz. So basically a family adopts a kid from my friends program for the year and they invite them over for meals. Home cooked food was amazing even though it wasn't even stuff I was used to. And that's saying a lottttttt. 

The whole lunch was in Hebrew so I was tuning in and out but I was impressed with myself for catching on as much as I did. We spoke about the army a lot since the oldest children were 18-21 and currently in the army. It's crazy how much more mature Israeli kids are than us spoiled Americans. They're faced with life or death situations and are given powerful positions at such young ages. They're in the real world and truth, I don't think we are. We have everything handed to us on a silver platter and they work their butts off for hours on base. So that was an eye opening experience. 

 Happy New Year, Shavuah Tov and have a meaningful Tzom Gedaliah tomorrow (Sunday)

Ruth and I. We've been friends for the past 4 years. She's from LA. How'd we meet? Oh we met on a cruise on winter vacation yeah no big deal. The world is so small 

Oh PS on the bus ride back to jeru I reunited with kids I remember from my 3rd grade class that moved to Florida. (Yaakov and Rena Stern- remember them mom???)

THE WORLD IS SO SMALL

kk לילה טוב

Torah Reading day 2 Rosh Hashana

So as we all know, Hashem commanded Avraham to send up his child as a sacrifice. After praying so hard to have a child Avraham is told to give him up and he's happy to do it to serve Hashem.

But what was the purpose of the test? For Hashem to see what Abraham is going to do? That doesn't make sense. 

Hashem tested Avraham like this so that Avraham can grow from it. He wants him to realize what he can do. As a result of Hashem's test, Avraham was able to perform an action which he didn't know he was capable of. 

The word נסיון can either be translated as test or miracle. 

If a miracle takes place, it shows us that Hashem exists. By seeing these things we realize what we can and should do. Avraham is now held up because it shows us an example of בתחון ואמונה with Hashem. So Hashem tested or held up Avraham as a banner to show us how to serve Him. 

On Rosh Hashana we should feel ready willing and able to accept Hashem in as king and in a sense sacrifice ourselves. 

Torah Reading Day 1 Rosh Hashana

The first Torah reading on Rosh Hashana is about the birth of יצחק. 

Abraham was praying for all of the women in his community who weren't able to have babies. They were all healed. Including Sarah. 

What do we learn from this?

Anyone who prays for mercy for someone else, and for themselves as well will have their prayers answered first. (Of course this cant be done with ulterior motives- it has to come from sincere emotion) It's a מידה כנגד מידה. This means that Hashem relates to us individually in the same manor we relate to other people. (For example, if you give people the benefit of the doubt, Hashem will do the same for you)

When יצחק was finally born Sarah said "וַתֹּאמֶר שָׂרָה--צְחֹק, עָשָׂה לִי אֱלֹהִים:  כָּל-הַשֹּׁמֵעַ, יִצְחַק-לִי."

At first, I thought this meant that Sarah was thinking that people were going to make fun of her for having a baby at such an old age.          Wow look at Sarah an old lady walking down the street with a baby carriage.

 Later on I came to realize that the word צחק here means to rejoice. בני ישראל is going to be happy for her and share in her simcha. Why? Not just because that's how it should be. The day Sarah gave birth was so busy. Every woman was in labor, people were sick and many people's תפילות were answered that day. Everyone was full of rejoice because everyone had their own simcha in their own homes. 

When Sarah was praying, she was praying for everyone. Us as a nation are responsible for praying for each other. It's not that you're a nice guy if you pray for someone else, it's actually bad if you don't. We have to be the people who do those things. On Rosh Hashana, not only are we welcoming Hashem in as the מלך but we are also praying for our nation as a whole. 

Tryin things

So I tried out Selichot the other night even though I'm not Ashkenaz (cuz like, I'm sketch). Sephardim are supposed to do it early in the morning but I went for the experience (at one in the morning) and it was nothing like I expected. And yes, I did gain from it. 

Not to get into too much detail here but I was happy I randomly signed up for something I've never done before just for the experience. Doing things like these is what is going to help me live my year here to the fullest. I'm so excited to look back at all of the new things I've tried over the year.

Another new idea is being sentimental with my Sepharim. For example, today I bought a ton of books I need for my classes. I'm going to be learning from these books all year. They are some of my tools to grow. 

So basically I bought Hebrew/English Machzorim for Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur and I decided to take it to the next level in order to have the most meaningful holidays I can have. I started to take notes on post it's so I can have more כוונה and understanding when I read things I only see once a year. It's good to go over it from before so that your intentions are sincere.

Obvs my friends made fun of me for being super shtark and chillin in the Beit (not BEIS!) Midrash during lunch break. Hahaa 

But honestly I am really looking forward to start off the New Year with this new comprehension of what these days are actually about.

To be continued...

Shabbos by the Princes

Shabbat by the Princes was great. I'm literally obsessed with their family. The best part about spending Shabbat at a different house is the great opportunity to take notes on what kind of atmosphere I want to create when I בעזרת-ה׳ raise my own family. So obviously I took a lot of notes but here's one I'd like to share. 

The back of their house is a dining room. It's just for Shabbat and that's it. During the rest of the week the doors are closed. But when I think about it, I have the same thing. We only eat in there on Shabbat. So what made this room different than mine? There was just some sort of רוח coming from inside and I really felt the presence of שבת קודש there as we lit candles and made the Beracha. 

I'm not saying that I don't have a dining room in my house that we do Shabbat meals in, I'm just trying to emphasize how important Shabbat is. We leave out one day a week to rest and its really beautiful. The idea of separation. Separate silver wear, special candles, special foods, and a special room. It's really a big part of what makes Shabbat so enjoyable.